i am going to be on here everyday this month! i am working my butt off to win this month! i didnt blog much last month cuz i wasnt home. but this month im here. im at the gym everyday and im learning a lot about myself! i am strong. and if i have to tell myself that everyday! then I will!!!!

This is the month

I started spin this week. Holy cow. I have always had a love for spin but never had the guts to go by myself. Im so self conscience its not even funny. This is def something I need to work on. But I went to spin on Tues and Thurs and it was AMAZING! Im so glad to be back in the saddle. I also went to water aerobics today. Kuddos to the women who are there. It did feel nice to be the youngest one there, but those older women kicked my booty! Way fun though. its sso nice to go to classes! I also have officially ran my fastest mile ever. I did it in 9 min and 46 seconds. Granted I couldnt run anymore afterwards. I will work up this month to running more but to run that fast I was pretty damn proud!!! This is my month! Sorry everyone Im gna be cocky for a minute and say Im taking first place this month!!!

Start today!

Seriously this month has just slipped away from me. End of summer is over for us. My daughter starts school today! I have a kindergartener! haha. she is SOOOOO excited. She has been asking me since she was 3 when she gets to go to school. I cant believe its finally here! I went to az and cali this month for 10 days and now im going to vegas for 4 days! A lot of traveling this month. But I am happy to say I havent gained weight this month like I thought I would. I really thought I was going to SLAUGHTER this competition. I can. I know I can. But summer got the best of me. Start today. I have to tell myself that everyday! So once again I start today! I got up at 630 this morning to do a workout in my basement. I have an elliptical and a punching bag down there. they get me to sweatin!! So my goal this week is to get down there every morning and then hit the gym at night! Wish me luck!

I guess I have totally missed the boat on blogging this month. I am in Arizona right now visiting my parents before they leave for an 18 month mission to Africa. I haven't been eating as bad as I usually do on vacation but of course I could be better. It's motivating having my sister here. We went to the gym and did a fitness class this morning. it's amazing how much better I feel for the day when i workout in the morning! I can't wait to get back to Alaska so I can do fitness classes up there. I want to get back into spin. I LOVE it!!!!

Maybe I dont blog cuz I dont have much to say. I used to be an active blogger, idk what happened to me. I guess I feel like what I have to say isn't important enough. I need to change my mindset. I need to feel important. Even if it is to one person.

Aware

Its amazing how much better I feel when I am aware of what I am putting in my body. Don't get me wrong I miss a lot of stuff, but I know if I want to get healthy then this is what I need to do right now. I find myself standing in the kitchen just looking around and have to walk away. What I really need to do is clean out my cupboards so there isn't temptation in the house. It's hard to walk away from what you love. I love food. Everyone knows that. I can spend all day in the gym, but when it comes to eating right that is where I have my step back. One day at a time is truly all I can do!

I feel like I don't ever have much to say on this blog. Feels like I should have a lot more with what I am going through. I have an inner battle struggle with myself and that is the part I need to get figured out. Once I figure that out I believe I will be the best person I can be!

One day at a time!

Got to start somewhere right? I was going to go to the gym today and ended up going out to the woods with my husband and chopping a bunch of fire wood. let me tell you I think I got more of a workout there. I am beat. He was using his chain saw as Im chopping. So I got the better workout! That is for sure. I have been way more conscience today about my food choices. I slacked off big time last month. But its behind me and in the past and all I can do is work on today. Not yesterday. Not tomorrow. Just today! I get through one day at a time and I am happy!

I have been catching up on other blogs who are in this competition and its been fun reading and getting to know people. Its so nice to have the support and they dont even know it!

July already

As I reflect back on June weight wise, I did awful. I am not making excuses I am only moving forward. I get to sit down today and readjust everything I have been doing. I have done so well in the past. My husband came home from deployment after being gone a year so we have been on the go. I can be on the go I just get to plan for it! We will still be on the go this month camping and fishing. June is behind me and I have July to look forward to! July Im gonna kick your butt. The only thing standing in my way is ME. Lets fix this.

My goal this month is to blog at least 3 times a week. I find myself more accountable when I do! I gotta figure out how to blog from my iPhone. Does anyone know how? Im sure I can look it up! Anyways hope everyone has a very happy 4th of July! Sure is my favorite Holiday!!

This post is short and sweet and to the point. we have been camping all weekend. we were out on a fishing charter. seems like we have been going going and going since jason got home. its been hard to have a minute to sit down and write a post. that is what i want to get better at. when i am writing it down i am more conscience about what i do! so after getting everything unpacked i will take the time to sit down and write!!

This is the reason for me neglecting my blog! I would say its a pretty good excuse! After Jason (my husband) being gone for a year to Afghanistan he is HOME! He got home on Monday and I couldn't be happier! He was so happy about my weight loss I had already completed and Im sure he can't wait to see me in another competition!

My friends think Im crazy for starting a weight loss competition right now. But why not? This is our third deployment and I have gained 20-30 lbs everytime he has come home. So I say why not?! They say what about camping and all the places Jason is gna want to eat at when he gets home that he has missed out on in the last year! And I say WHAT BETTER TIME! Im proud to say that yes I have lost 4 lbs since he has been home! Just one week! I have been watching what I eat. I still work out! I can pack healthy for camping! Its doable I just gta DO IT! My mind set is there. My eyes are set on the prize.

What I want out of this is CONFIDENCE! I want to be that happy girl that everyone knows, but I want to feel it. Im getting there. Slowly but surely! And if I can do this now I can do this anytime!!!!

New Competition

Anyone that knows me knows I LOVE TO COMPETE!! So what better way then to get back on the weight loss competition challange. I started this same competition last Jan and then I found out I was prego about 3 weeks into it.. So without further ado! I am so glad Karilynn decided to start these again! I have lost about 50 lbs on my own. Which obviously it will still be on my own, but now I have a little money to keep me motivated! Gotta love that!

So lets start this!!!

Free Day

So on body for life I get one free day a week. To eat whatever I want!! But coming off a 5 pound weight loss this week my thought was why would I totally ruin it. I have known people doing BFL and they eat McDs for breakfast, Taco Bell for lunch and Burger King for dinner. I could have easily chose to do that, but I didn't. I did have licorice and rieces pieces. But other than that I ate pretty healthy... I think for me its more of a mind conscience thing. I dont want to come off a good week and totally lose track one day and then have to start all over. It would be a vicious cycle. So I will use my free day to have my chocolate or whatever it is that Im craving. But Im not going to go crazy. It just doesnt make sense to me.

I got home from the gym last night and I was DONE! I was so sore and so wore out. We were going to play Just Dance but we just couldn't. But I think I needed the rest! It was nice to just chill out today. So guess what next week brings? HOPEFULLY a spinning class or ZUMBA! Or maybe both. I might get crazy! haha

Competition

ANYONE who knows me knows I LOVE competition. I actually CRAVE competition. Come to find out so does my daughter! Anything that I want or need her to do, I make it about how fast she can get it done. Anyways I found myself on the treadmill today. I also found that I pushed myself a little harder so I could beat my mileage from 2 days ago! I had fun! And come to find out, IT WORKS!! It works for me so thats what Im going to use! COMPETITION! Here's my time for today....

I barely beat my time, but I beat it! And thats what matters. That is what will keep me motivated!!!

CLEARED

ITS OFFICIAL!!! I HAVE BEEN CLEARED! I am so ready to go all out on exercising! Bring it on! I went to the gym today and did an hour on the treadmill. It wasnt as far as I wanted BUT its my first day! So go me!!

I can be proud of that. And you better believe I AM!! I cant wait to see that improve! I took before pics. I know I had the guts to put them on last time. But I don't quite have the guts this time! I will post them next month when I can see an improvement!

I started Body for life! Its a great program. I have such an issue with eating. I can be at the gym all day. But when it comes to cooking the right food and eating it, I struggle. I know a lot of it has to do with dealing with all I am going through. I know I am an emotional eater. But I am taking it one day at a time. That is all I can do. If i get ahead of myself I get uspet and quit. Not this time! So in the next 12 weeks I have a goal to lose 35 pounds on this program. I truily feel I can lose more than that so Im in competition with myself! The best kind. The great thing about this is I have my friend Kate doing BFL with me! So we are in this together. And then here I have Samantha to go to the gym with me! That hour on the treadmill flew by! I looked at the time and I had already been on for 45 min! And we have been going to the gym at 4 so that means Ellen is on! So I have something to occupy my time with! Oh and on top of that we are going to samantha's house in the mornings and doin the elliptical for 30 min!! I am going to start looking into some classes such as kickboxing, spinning and MAYBE JUST MAYBE I will take on ZUMBA!!!

Back on track!

So I have made the move. I am back up in Alaska. I don't have a house yet, but Im on the list. Once I get into my own house and get settled it will get much better. I am thankful to have the support system I have though! Its made things so much easier to transition!

I have a workout buddy!! WHOOT WHOOT! Today I really was just tired and didn't feel like going and she got me up and off the couch! Once I got on I was fine it was just the motivation to go. Having a newborn makes it tough for me to find the motivation to go cuz Im always so tired. I can't wait til he starts sleeping a little longer during the nights so I can get some rest! BUT I have done cardio the last 2 days and im super proud. I go to the doctor on November 16 to make sure my body is healed and I can move forward. Until then the elliptical is going to be my best friend! I got on treadmill today just to walk. But I started hurting about 10 min into it. So I got on the eliptical and it was so much better. I dont know what it is about that machine but it doesnt hurt me! And I sweat more so I'll take it! I also worked out my upper body on monday. My doc told me for sure DO NOT do lower body or abs yet. I can't wait til I can though! But I also know I get to be patient and not push it! Im learning to be patient. That is a hard thing for me but its slowly coming around.

Now I gotta work on the eating part. I know its 80 percent but its also my biggest demon in life!! I know I can conquer it but I also know I can't overwhelm myself. Im taking it a little at a time and its slowly coming around!

OK OK

OK OK! Im listening to my body and EVERYONE! LOL. I thought I could be superwoman and get into exercising. But I can't. I am so desperate to get back to working out. My fear is the holidays coming and going and Im still not happy with myself. This year is different though! I am COMMITTED to being healthier. Im not sayin I'm going to be perfect, Lord knows Im not. BUT Im not going to beat myself up for having a treat here and there. So where do I start, I ask myself. WITH EATING! Since eating is 80% of losing weight, I can do that while my body is healing. I had a friend mention body for life. Its a program I have done before. So that is what Im going to do, but just the eating part for now. Couch 2 5k is going to have to be put on hold for now. As much as it sux and I hate it, I have to let my body heal so I don't do more damage and have to be out longer.. Thanks for all the encouragement and support. It means A LOT to me...

Like I said I CAN'T WAIT TO INSPIRE MANY!!!!

Here I Go!!

WOW! I can't believe its finally here. I know I should have stayed with this during the pregnancy but I didnt. I swam a lot. I worked out here and there. I didnt eat the best. But today is a new day. Its a new start for me. Jason and I have a deal. And Im gonna win!!! SO HERES TO ME!

I have decided Im going to make it short goals. Instead of me saying I want to lose 120 pounds (which I do) I am going with short term goals to reach my long term. I am sticking with ten pounds. So when I get to 250 (which will be this week!) my next goal will be 240, then 230 and so on. I feel that will work better for me. If I look at it like I have 120 pounds to lose I will give up. I know myself. So 10 pounds at a time will be perfect!

I am starting the program Couch to 5k tomorrow! I am excited. I have the YMCA to use and my parents have a treadmill here.. Its time to start putting them in use! I am excited to share this journey with evveryone!!

I posted me new measurements. I weighed myself today too.

Starting weight is 253....

Slacker and some Motivation

Yes I know. I dont even think anyone reads my posts anymore. Its ok though cuz this is for me. What sux for me is I did what I ALWAYS do. I let life get in MY way. I let things get me down way to easy. I have been struggling for about a month now. I didnt gain any weight last month I actually lost. It was only 2 pounds but thats ok. With the way I have been eating, I am surprised I didnt gain. The thing is that I ALWAYS LET MYSELF GIVE UP.... Ugh it makes me so freakin mad. I dont know why I do it. That is one thing I get to figure out. Why do I let food control my life? As far as I can remember it always has. I never used to care about what I ate cuz I was so active in volleyball that I never gained as much weight as I have in the last few years. Now its different, Im not as active so I get to change that. Im not trying to have a pity party or have anyone feel bad for me. DONT. I am getting this out cuz sometimes for me its better to write it down then think through my thoughts.

I found this quote that hit me pretty hard...

Success is about having, excellence is about being. Success is about having money and fame, but excellence is being the best you can be.



-- Mike Ditka

Do I want success or excellence? Of course! Hello!! I can always want to have something, but if I dont go through with it I will never get it. If I just BE my best I can have excellence. I want excellence. I dont want to just succeed in something I want to be great at it. I want to be the one motivating people. I want people to look up to me. Who is gonna do that when I can't even control myself? I would love to be that person that says how do you do it? What did you do? Can you give me any coaching? I dont want to be rich and famous, I just want people to say wow I would love to know how she got that way! I dont want people to be like me, I want them to figure it out! I would never say wow I want to be like her because that just diminishes myself and who I was meant to be.

What about this one????

The Six W's: Work will win when wishing won't.



-- Todd Blackledge


HELLO AGAIN!! I can wish to be healthy and skinny and comfortable in my own skin all I want. But if I dont work towards it, it means NOTHING!
 
 
And what about this one that I love!
 
When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.



-- Franklin D. Roosevelt

When I get to the end of my rope, I usually fall off. I get to keep this one in my head. I get to print it and hang it on my mirror so I can remember that when times get tough, I just gotta hang on and Enjoy The Ride!!!

Over and out!

Wow

So I was out of town for four days. I went down to San Jose for an International Convention for my company. I learned a HUGE lesson. When I am here at home, I lay on the couch, I don't feel good, I am tired, I am nautious, I just have no energy. But when I was in Cali, I think cuz I had to get up early and be places that I felt better. I had energy, not a ton but a lot more than the last few weeks, I walked a lot, I only felt sick once the whole weekend until I hit the plane ride home then I was sick the whole flight. That was NOT a fun experience. But it hit my like BAM! If I just get up and move I will be fine. The hard part for me being at home is getting up and moving. There is a treadmill down the hall but my daughter gets so bored down there I feel bad. I cannot wait for it to get nice outside cuz she can ride her bike while I walk. Its gonna be great. I have been feeling better. I know the first trimester is hell and Im ready for it to be over. I have lost a few more pounds but I know Im not gonna win money. But I am OK with that because for me now this is about staying healthy for me and my baby. Then after I have him/her, YOU ALL better watch out!!!!

Sorry I havent been around much, I am catching up on everyones blog today. I know I havent commented much on anyones stuff lately but I am going to get better at that too! Your comments mean a lot and I love the support I am getting from everyone....

I dont know why Im blogging today. I dont feel like I have much to talk about. There has been so many times where I have wanted to opt out of the competition. I literally have no energy to do anything. I have been playing WFP but only for a few minutes here and there cuz I get so tired and feel like a truck run over me. I am trying my best to eat heathly but sometimes all that sounds good is cereal. I need to find a routine that works for me.

I do have to go in next Tues and get the diabetes test done. Usually its not done until the 28th week but since I am overweight my doctor wants me to get it done next week to be safe. That kinda hit me hard. I was not overweight when I started my last pregnancy. I mean I had weight to lose yes but only like 40 pounds. Then I went and gained 75 pounds during the pregnancy and I WILL NOT do that this time. So far I have not gained any weight, maybe in my chest area but other than that everything is the same. What sux is im not seeing the weight go down. My doc said I should only gain 15 pounds this pregnancy. Maybe even if I split up my treadmill time. Do 15 min 3 times a day or something. I have to figure out what is going to work best for me. I have a treadmill and eleptical down the hall in my apartment complex so its not like its out of the way to go there.

Thats my thoughts for today!

Random Thought

Well I had my doctors appt yesterday. Got my first ultra sound and sure enough Im pregnant! I am due Sept 26... I had a good talk with my doctor yesterday. She wants me to go take the sugar test early, meaning next week or earlier, so they can detect diabetes early since I am high risk for it. I pray I don't get it while Im pregnant. I am doing my best to eat healthy and stay on track with exercising. I have finally talked my husband into going with me to the gym. Its fun to have someone to go with. Even if I cant talk while Im working out cuz im so out of breath. The doctor told me I should only gain about 15 pounds this pregnancy. That will be a HUGE change from the last one where I gained 75...

Here is to a happy and heathy pregnancy and doing my best!!

One month down!

One month down. I am kinda happy with this. I was happy til I saw everyone elses weight loss! And now Im like crap! Oh well! I hit a life turning event that I WAS NOT expecting and I am not gonna lie, I let it get the best of me for over a week. My pregnancy sickness kicked in this morning (for the first time and Im sure not the last!) and I weighed myself after I was done and I had lost 3 more pounds. But in all fairness I took this picture before I got sick and didnt retake the pic even though I totally could have!! I am not that kind of girl though! So I will take a 12 pound loss! I was shooting for 16 but that was before I let a pregnancy get the best of me. Thank you EVERYONE for your support and comments and emails. You dont know how much they mean to me! So here is to February!I feel like I am ok with what is going on with me so now I can go back to focusing on eating heathy and stop drowning my sorrows!!

I have to wait til my husband gets home to do the full body pics but this is it for now!

This week

Needless to say I have been struggling the past weeks or so. I realize now what I do to myself when times get tough. I realize that I eat when Im upset or sad or depressed. But not good. Not in a good way. But I am working on it. I am working on a few things at a time here. I was doing really good at the beginning which is how it always works for me. Then I let go of myself. Now its time to get back on track and not let myself go completly off again. So here is to a week of the gym everyday and writing down what I eat! EVERYTHING I EAT!! Especially since weigh in is this Friday for the month.. I can still win a prize right?!? Of course I can!!! I am so excited for this week and what it has to offer me. BRING IT ON!!!

The Same

Ok. So I was so excited last week on Tuesday when I was at 250.2 because that meant I was going to hit the mark of going in the 40s! But nope! Not this week. I am ok with that. I weighed in at 250.2 this morning. I am ok with that knowing what I did to myself this week as far as eating and working out. This week WILL be better. Like I have said this whole competition, NO EXCUSES. Just cuz I have a baby in my belly, doesnt mean I cannot be heathy..

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for all your kind comments and emails. I TRULY apreciate them. The support system on here is great. I love it. Thats all for now. I am off to Target then the Gym. I have my priorities!!

I have to change my mind set....

I am thinking about making my blog name different. Obese and Pregnant. But saying that just makes me that much more angry. I know children are gifts from God and such a blessing. But for now, I am having a very hard time coping with the fact that I am pregnant. I know I dont need to be negative, but I have a lot goin on in my personal life, that makes me wonder if I'm truly ready for this. But like it or not its here.

I am not going to lie. I fell off the band wagon for the week. I still ate mostly heathy, but I only went to the gym once. I did go swimming and sledding with my daughter. But I have decided HERE AND NOW I cannot let myself go. Just cuz I have hit a bump in the road does NOT mean I have to stop being heathy. What else makes me mad is that I can't win this competition. I am a HUGE competitor and now knowing I can't win, my mindset is like why even try. I need to get out of that mode. I want to be heathy. And I know I can have it all. So why not be in the mind set that I can still lose weight, be heathy and be pregnant.....

I think one of the main reasons Im freakin out, is I am in Alaska. Away from family. My husband is deploying in June so here I am, stuck, doing it all alone... My husband was deployed when I had Madison, if it weren't for moving back home to Arizona with my parents and getting so much help from them and my sister, I dont know what I would have done... I was in Alaska last time too, but moved back with my parents. Now this time I will be up here, Alone...

VERY MIXED EMOTIONS

I should be happy that I just found out Im pregnant right. What is crazy to me is that I am 6 weeks along and I have been losing weight so good! I am determined to keep going to the gym, keep working out (until I can) and keep doing what I have been for the last 2 weeks. I am not going to lie, I was very UPSET cuz I was NOT ready for a baby. Mentally or phyiscally! This was the last thing on earth I thought I would be going through right now. I was just getting on track with weight loss and being healthy and then BAM! I dont know what the rules are for the competition but for now I am staying on this blog. Who knows maybe I will keep losing weight cuz it will be the unhealthy fat! I just DO NOT want to get over 300 pounds. I know someone that is in this comp lost weight the whole time they were pregnant, I dont remember who it was but I may need to email you! I am gonna look through all the old blogs right now. Thank you everyone for your support.

YEAH YEAH!

I do have to say that I am very excited about another 4 pound loss!! I am now 250!! I am so proud of myself for sticking through week 2. I have had a lot of things going on in my personal life that I thought were going to distract me, but I pulled through! And I am so happy with myself.

As of this challange wasn't enough, Karilynn is adding weekly challanges! haha! I know its only going to make me stronger sticking with this and that is why I am so excited! So this weeks challenge is all about WATER! I am going to steal what she said off her post that she said about water cuz it really hit me!

"Without enough water, organs can't function as efficiently, so your metabolism slows to conserve energy." -TECD page 43.  HELLO WAKE UP CALL!! I am slowing down my own organs!! These last 2 weeks I have been REALLY good about drinking my water. I have a Pink Breast Cancer Trudeau Cool! I love it!! It holds 24 oz. so I make sure I drink AT LEAST 6 of them a day which is 144 oz but sometimes I get in more! I was told to drink my ideal body weight in ounces (quite a while ago!). So mine is 155 so that is what I aim fore... But 144 I think is amazing! But something else Karilynn suggested was to keep the amount of water you want to drink on the counter. That way you see it... So that is what I am going to do except I am going to keep it in the fridge so it stays nice and cold! Or here I could keep it on the porch but then it might freeze. I also learned that drinking cold water makes you burn more calories!

Here is to a GREAT week 3!!!!!

Random Thoughts

I have been feeling blah the last few days.. I mean I am still eating well and exercising. I just need to get out of the negativity cuz I find myself going to it a lot... I am finding the positive things and fueling off of them. My daughter and I have been wearing Wii Fit Plus out.. Its such a good thing for her to use to just cuz she is active. I have a 3 day weekend so I am excited about that. I wanted to go to Zumba and Spin this week but I easily let things get in my way. But next week I am committed to going to Spin on Tues and Thurs! I LOVE SPIN!!! I haven't done it in over a year but I am ready for the but kickin! Plus why wouldnt I take it when its free! Take advantage right...

Well Happy Friday Everyone!

Week 1

I don't have much to say right now (shocking I know), but I did want to say a little bit about week 1. This week I mostly concentrated on what I eat as opposed to taking everything on at once. I quit so  many things this week that I was feeling overwhelmed with working out as well. I ate very well. I am very proud of myself. Monday (yesterday) was the first day I actually HIT the gym. I played Wii Fit Plus (WFP) last night. I am in love. I love beating my own score!! haha. I am literally my own worst competitor! I love competition and anything to light my fire is awesome! I am down 4 pounds from last week. I am so happy with that because I didnt go to the gym. Now if I coperate what I did last week with eating and my 6 days a week of gym time plus my WFP time I KNOW I will do so well with this!! The thing for me is that I start something and quit... BUT guess what everyone... NOT THIS TIME!!!

ARE YOU FREAKIN SERIOUS????

If this isn't motivation, then I dont know what is!!! I found this picture the other day! Its now hanging on my fridge. I played volleyball in college and believe it or not THIS IS ME JUMPING!!!!! HOLY COW!!!

I am SO proud of myself right now... I ALWAYS gain on the weekends. Whether its one pound or 3 I ALWAYS weigh more on Monday then I do on Friday. So this weekend I decided to change that pattern. I am sick of it.. So friday night we went over to a friends house. SHe had text me and said hey I made some homemade chicken soup loaded with veggies you can have! I was pumped. Cuz this lady is an awesome cook! Then we are getting ready to go over there and she says what kind of pizza do you like cuz we are gonna order some! WELL I told her I will not be having any but Jason loves any kind of meat on his.. So I go over there, smelling Papa Johns, and I eat a bowl of soup!!! I was SO dang proud of myself. We played WII Fit Plus and Wii Resorts and Im in love. I left SWEATING!!!

Then Saturday I slept in til 11!!! HOW NICE WAS THAT! Saturday my husband had to work so I made it a day with my daughter. We went and got some groceries came home and I made her a tent to have a tea party in. While she was occupied for about 2 hours doing that I cleaned the heck outa my house. Cleanest my house has been in awhile! Then Saturday night my friend Shawna was having a birthday party for her mom. Well Shawna is an AMAZING cook!! She seriously makes the best meals ever... I have a few friends that cook soooo much yummy stuff. But she was like we are having spaghetti and salad.. So Im like ok I can do this. So I get there and there are tons of healthy appetizers. She used whole wheat pasta, homemade her sauce and the dressing for the salad. When we were eating her husband was like Im not a fan of this wheat pasta and she said I did that for Heather!! How cool is that!!  This girl is amazing and she knows how much I have been struggling, so I LOVE that she took effort to assist me with this journey!!

Then Sunday was a TOTAL lazy day. We slept in til 11 again!! Whoo Whoo!!! Then took a nap around 2! It was great. It was so relaxing. Then we played wii and some board games.. All in all it was a great weekend... And when I woke up this morning I was 2 pounds LIGHTER then friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I decided that Monday and Tuesdays are my early days at the gym. I get up at 530!! And go hit the gym for over an hour. Its funny cuz I go to a gym where its all the Army guys and girls doing PT (physical training) so I kinda stick out cuz Im not in the same uniform as everyone else there.. BUT I go and get lost in my music and mind my business. I discovered last week that its easier for me to work out first thing in the morning then it is in the evening. I am wore out by the end of the day and the last thing on my mind is working out!

I am off to get WII FIT PLUS!!!!!

30 day Triathlon

I am SO tired of having headaches. When do they go away?? I am now reminded as to why I always go back and forth.... I cut out everything I eat bad at once.. I just quit COLD TURKEY. And this is what I get... Pounding Headaches that make me want to throw up... I know I can overcome this. I just have to stick with it.

I have a slight obsession with weighing myeslf. Its not just once a day its like 4 or 5 times a day. So for now the scale is being put away.. I am going to weigh myself every Tuesday and THATS IT!!

So when I lived in Fairbanks, AK they did this thing at the gym. I forgot what it was called but they did an event where you complete a Triathlon in 30 days... I am going to do this again. So starting on Monday I am going to start my 30 day Triathlon! I am excited cuz I made a chart that I can mark off every lap I swam and every mile I do on bike and running!! I am deciding if I include walking miles or only do running.. I will decide by Monday and stick to it!!

I know this post is random but that is how my brain works!! Have a great day!

No more excuses!

So anyone that knows me, knows that I am a huge competitor.. I HATE to lose! I grew up playing volleyball and other sports but I remember when we would lose a game I would be FURIOUS.... I used to coach volleyball and when my team lost, it really sucked... I am always looking for ways to be a better person. So here I am rolling in on day two. Day one was good. I had a lot of stress with my daughter but I didn't let that stop me from going to the gym and eating right. My husband is in the Army. He does PT every morning. Now I am not sayin he is in the best shape ever, but he trains other soldiers for their PT. I always say honey help me out here teach me stuff. But then he pushes me and I get mad. Cuz im in pain and he wont let me stop.. Then I get mad and quit. NOT LAST NIGHT! I realized that he is gonna push me beyond my limits. He is gonna help me reach my potential. I have always been told Heather you have so much potential I just wish you could see it. I think its time for me to realize what I can do. So with that in mind I am going to allow my husband to push me. But I am also going to push MYSELF at the gym. The gym I go to (which is free thanks to my husband being military!!) has a playground right by it that my daughter can play at. So we get there and she says do everything you want mom. Meaning take your time! So why not take advantage of that!! Plus it wears her energy out and gives her some play time with other kids... I also have a "gym" more of a room down the hall in my apartment complex. It has a treadmill an eliptical and free weights. I literally have NO EXCUSES! I dont have to pay for a membership anywhere, I dont have to pay for a trainer. SO THIS IS MY TIME! NO MORE EXCUSES!!!!

First Weigh in

I am OVERWHELMED right now. I have literally been sitting here for the last 3 hours debating whether to post these photos or not... Well my mind is made up. I figure if I am going to do this I am going FULL FORCE. I am not proud of the way I look. I had been going to the gym for a month solid eating right doing great and had lost 15 pounds. Then my husbands birthday came, Christmas came, my daughters birthday came and then New Years. Between all that I had gained about 8 pounds of it all back. Why? Cuz that is what I do. I work really hard and then before I know it I just let myself go. I think oh I have done great I can have a cheat day.. That cheat day turns into two and then a week and before I know it 4 weeks go by and I am back to struggling. So I am going to set daily goals. I will post them on the side of my blog. but for now... you might not want to look.....

My Goals for this Competition

So as selfish as it sounds this next 6 months is mine.. Its my time, its my turn to take control of MY life and get healthy.... I feel that as I do this a lot of other things will fall into place... So here is a list of my goals....

1. First and foremost I want self confidence. I want to FEEL good about myself.

2. To overcome a few addictions I have. I will let you know on my progress on that.

3. I want to lose 60 pounds. That is 10 pounds a month..

4. I want to cook and eat healthy. Purge my HOUSE of all crappy things to eat and refill it with healthy things. My husband MIGHT have a fit over this!!

5. I want to be able to run a Half Marathon this summer!

6. FOLLOWING THROUGH! This should have been higher BUT a lot of people know me as a quiter! I am about to prove EVERYONE wrong and follow through with this!!!!

Look for pics tomorrow. This is going to be the hardest thing for me. NO ONE has seen me shirtless except for my husband in a VERY long time! For this I am wearing a sports bra and shorts.

Let me introduce myself

Hey there. First of all I want to thank you for coming to my blog and reading about my journey that I am about to take control of. My name is Heather Brown. I am 27 years old. I am an Army Wife and mother of a 4 year old beautiful girl!! I have struggled with my weight my whole life. I have ALWAYS felt like the fat girl around. I didnt realize til about 3 weeks ago when I started going through old photos that I wasnt fat in high school and college. I was in the best shape ever. I played volleyball my whole life and into college. After college I moved to Alaska to be a nanny. That is where I met my husband. He is a Soldier for the US Army. I have come to realize that I have a problem. I have an addiction. Its food. I didnt realize til a few weeks ago that it was ruining everything in my life. I almost gave up on my marriage because I was so unhappy. But not with him, with me. With who I had become. I have been hiding my fears behind all my fat. I have been eating away my sorrows. I have held back from doing so many things because I am afraid of judgement from others. Well guess what, THIS IS ALL ABOUT TO STOP!!! I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired. I have no energy. I always want to sleep. I have a 4 year old who deserves more from me. I have a husband who deserves more from me. I have friends who deserve more from me!! I have yo yo'd with my weight for the last 3 years. I will lose 40 pounds and be feeling great and I will let ONE thing stop me and I start eating again. I can look back and name all of the events.. But I won't. And then before I know it I have gained it all back plus some. What hit me that hardest was the fact that I was 5 pounds away from being where I was when I was 9 months pregnant..... I dont have a baby inside of me and there are NO EXCUSES to what I have become. I felt like I lose it and gain it back so whats the point of losing it again and again....

Well not this time. I am ready to live my life. I am ready to be free. I am ready to let this fear of mine go. I am ready to BE ME! To be the happy, loving, outgoing, friendly Heather that I know I am. No more holding back. I usually quit everything I start... The one thing in life I cannot quit is being a mother to Madison. Everything else I have the choice. But my choice NOW is to make myself a winner! I want to win this battle. It is time......