Let me introduce myself

Hey there. First of all I want to thank you for coming to my blog and reading about my journey that I am about to take control of. My name is Heather Brown. I am 27 years old. I am an Army Wife and mother of a 4 year old beautiful girl!! I have struggled with my weight my whole life. I have ALWAYS felt like the fat girl around. I didnt realize til about 3 weeks ago when I started going through old photos that I wasnt fat in high school and college. I was in the best shape ever. I played volleyball my whole life and into college. After college I moved to Alaska to be a nanny. That is where I met my husband. He is a Soldier for the US Army. I have come to realize that I have a problem. I have an addiction. Its food. I didnt realize til a few weeks ago that it was ruining everything in my life. I almost gave up on my marriage because I was so unhappy. But not with him, with me. With who I had become. I have been hiding my fears behind all my fat. I have been eating away my sorrows. I have held back from doing so many things because I am afraid of judgement from others. Well guess what, THIS IS ALL ABOUT TO STOP!!! I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired. I have no energy. I always want to sleep. I have a 4 year old who deserves more from me. I have a husband who deserves more from me. I have friends who deserve more from me!! I have yo yo'd with my weight for the last 3 years. I will lose 40 pounds and be feeling great and I will let ONE thing stop me and I start eating again. I can look back and name all of the events.. But I won't. And then before I know it I have gained it all back plus some. What hit me that hardest was the fact that I was 5 pounds away from being where I was when I was 9 months pregnant..... I dont have a baby inside of me and there are NO EXCUSES to what I have become. I felt like I lose it and gain it back so whats the point of losing it again and again....

Well not this time. I am ready to live my life. I am ready to be free. I am ready to let this fear of mine go. I am ready to BE ME! To be the happy, loving, outgoing, friendly Heather that I know I am. No more holding back. I usually quit everything I start... The one thing in life I cannot quit is being a mother to Madison. Everything else I have the choice. But my choice NOW is to make myself a winner! I want to win this battle. It is time......